Past guilty pleasures and a lifetime of weight gain

Prior to going vegan and starting a healthier plant based lifestyle, I could not remember a time when sugar was not my drug of choice, especially ice cream.  It’s frozen creamy goodness would envelope me in a warm blanket of self-denial.  One spoonful transported me to a place of numbness, one that even the roughest tempest couldn't penetrate.

In the past I tried many times to "get clean," only to succeed for a few weeks, or, if lucky, a few months. Despite my best efforts, it would only be a matter of time before I would be wheeling a grocery cart down the well-lit aisles of the freezer section, peering through the frosted glass, in search of the perfect blend of frozen flavors - all the while hoping no one I knew saw me.

During one distant shopping trip, I found the coast was clear and I slowed to a stop in front of the premium "high fat" ice cream section.  I began narrowing down my choices.  Should I get my old friend "Cherry Garcia" or try a fling with the new”super-premium Greek Frozen Yogurt?" I ended up skipping both of the first options and was drawn to a larger carton of the new chocolate Oreo cookie variety.  As I reached for it, I was already envisioning myself devouring it.

After I grabbed the one quart chocolate Oreo variety, for good measure, I threw a pint of limited edition blackberry cobbler into my cart and quickly guided my basket to the check-out counter. My palms were still cold from the ice cream and I had already began to feel the guilt start to creep in. I knew within a day or two of my purchase, all of the ice cream would be polished off and I would be left feeling sick and wanting more.

By the next day after my purchase, the pint of ice cream was consumed and the larger carton was waiting in the wings - that was when I believe God sent a friend to help answer my pleas for deliverance.

It was late that same night (a few years back) after having finished eating the pint of blackberry cobbler ice cream that I was chatting with a close friend on the phone. During this phone call, he asked me if I was still sugar/junk food free.  Confession time.  I admitted I was eating sugar again and had actually meant to tell him about "falling off the wagon." We chatted for a while about my struggles with sugar and junk foods, then he suggested I start researching and writing a weight-loss book.  His logic being that the research for the book would help me find the path to success and at the same time help others who are struggling with the same issue. 

This was not the first time in my life that someone had encouraged me to write.  My therapist had also encouraged me to write, but I at that time, I had yet to fully embrace writing because I always doubted my writing abilities, however, as my friend encouraged me something inside me changed. The more I mulled over his writing idea, the more I came to believe that it might actually work and thus the blog and my hopes for writing a book in the future began.

While it took several years for me to become fully engaged and committed to a healthier vegan lifestyle, I have finally wholeheartedly embraced veganism and each day I find it more and more rewarding! 

Thankfully I can now say that since December 8, 2015 I have been completely vegan and have also gone gluten free due to allergies.  So no more non vegan frozen treats for me! 
And regarding my love of ice cream, I have recently purchased a good blender and have learned how to make my own vegan ice cream using frozen ripe bananas, blended with a few of my favorite berries and a splash of 100% juice or soy milk - nom, nom!

Wishing you prosperity in your journey!

Sharon

Ways to combat stress and weight gain

Life and stress have a well established courtship - and it's a proven fact that stress can lead to weight gain! Daily we are bombarded with new stressors and no matter how hard we strive to develop and maintain a low stress lifestyle something stressful always seems to pop up unexpectedly!   

When I am dealing with life's stressors I can choose to manage it in a healthy manner or I can choose to let it extract it's painful toll on my overall health and wellbeing.

For the vast majority of my life I let stress win!  I would self sooth during stressful situations by eating high sugar and fatty foods and unsurprisingly I am not alone with my response.  According to a Prevention article entitled "7 Ways to Beat Stress Fat," Elissa Epel, PhD, a researcher on stress eating at the University of California, San Francisco noted, "we crave sweet, salty, and high-fat foods because they stimulate the brain to release pleasure chemicals that reduce tension."   

This explains why when faced with stressful situations my knee jerk response is to bury my face in a pint of ice cream or a bag of crunchy snacks.  However, while the stress might seem to abate while eating the unhealthy foods it is really only gaining momentum as I gain extra pounds, which in turn causes more stress!  

Thankfully I am learning new ways to cope with stress. I am learning ways to change my overall lifestyle (not just my eating habits).   As I become healthier as a whole I am developing the right tools to adequately cope with stress.   A good friend of mine once gently reminded me that "I can't give what I don't have!"  Keeping that sage piece of advice in mind I am striving to set healthy boundaries in my life.  

I have chosen to start being kinder to myself! I am learning to step back and leave stressful situations in God's hands.  I ask for help when needed and call on friends to pray with me when I am struggling.   I am finding healthy ways to increase my activity levels.  

I am taking time to incorporate more fresh air and sunshine in my life.  And most importantly, I am learning to give myself grace when I stumble eating wise.  As soon as I become aware that I am starting to slip back into old unhealthy eating habits I choose not to wait until the next day to get back on track, instead I seize the next moment and start a fresh right then and there!

If I am longing for something sweet a few dates or figs will usually still my sweet tooth.  If I am yearning for something crunchy and salty I enjoy a bowl of air popped popcorn tossed with a scant teaspoon of olive oil and a generous coating of nutritional yeast, along with a sprinkle of sea salt.  These flavor filled healthy treats will help to chases away the junk food cravings and the extra pounds! 

Wishing you prosperity in your journey!

Sharon

Weight and The Power of Friendship

Recently I was fondly reflecting on how fortunate I am to have such a wonderful network of friends who live and promote a healthy plant based lifestyle! Throughout the past seven years these friends, despite my chronic struggle with morbid obesity and increasing weight gain, never gave up on me!  Even when I had given up on myself and was increasingly becoming more and more disabled from psoriatic arthritis and weight gain, these friends continued to love me unconditionally and encouraged me to in turn love myself enough to change my unhealthy eating habits and avoid an early demise.    

After spending a wonderful afternoon with some of my vegan/plant based friends I was fondly recalling the many acts of kindness that they have showered on me during my pursuit to regain health and mobility and I decided to Google the role friends play in our weight loss and weight gain. 

After a brief Internet search I stumbled up on a JULY 2007 issue of Time magazine entitled "Obesity Is Contagious, Study Finds."  The article noted the following quote, "Your close friends can influence your weight even more than genes or your family members, according to new research appearing in the July 26 issue of The New England Journal of Medicine. The study's authors suggest that obesity isn't just spreading; rather, it may be contagious between people, like a common cold."

Wow!! I know all of my friends play a powerful role in my life, but I had no idea that they play a greater role in my weight loss and/or weight gain than my genetics and family! And I must admit while I was reading the article I was hoping that others reading it would not draw the false conclusion that they should "lose" their fat friends before they caught a few "pounds/stones" from them!  Because I for one, as a fat friend, for sure did not want to lose any of my friends - thin or chubby! :)

As I further pondered the article, I realized there are so many ways, both big and small, that we can make a difference health wise in the lives of our friends and loved ones.  In fact, just the other day we had a vegetarian fellowship meal at church and while the vast majority of the food was healthy....there were still ingredients that I was choosing to avoid.  As a vegan, who is also eating gluten free (to decrease inflammation)....I knew one stroll down the smorgasbord, even with the best intentions to avoid wheat and dairy, would set me up to inadvertently ingest non-vegan and wheat based items. 

However, it was my lucky day!  My good friend Kathy, an avid athlete and fellow plant based diet enthusiast, with a well toned physique, emailed me the day before the fellowship dinner to let me know that she would be preparing a special low fat vegan and gluten free meal for us to share.  And boy was I in for a treat!  She had prepared a flavorful quinoa salad and a side of delicious homemade roasted beet hummus with fresh carrot and celery sticks for dipping.  Her act of kindness allowed me to fully enjoy my meal with friends without feeling deprived, plus it encouraged me to continue my new healthy lifestyle. 

The power of friendship is invaluable health wise in all of our lives and the influence of friendship works both ways - it can motivate friends to lose weight  or gain weight. So my friends, if you are someone that enjoys optimal health from a healthy lifestyle than you are in the perfect position to influence, unconditionally love and encourage someone who is struggling with obesity. By showing them small and simple acts of kindness, such as packing an extra apple to share with them, we may encourage them to fully love themselves enough to make the lifestyle changes necessary to avoid suffering painful health problems down the road. 

Wishing you prosperity in your journey!

Sharon

The Simple Secret to Weight Loss

Our Creator blessed us with an abundance of simple and healthy food choices that heal and satisfy the body.   With each passing day of this new lifestyle I realize more and more that simple eats, straight from nature's bounty, are my best friends!   

Six months ago, prior to changing my overall outlook on food, I would breeze past the produce section in search of my favorite calorie rich instant foods and sugary treats, however, now I am thrilled when a new produce season starts. 


This past week while stocking up at the store I was so excited to see fresh whole greens on sale.   As I stopped my cart in the middle of the climate controlled produce aisle to "pick a mess" I was mentally transported back to my childhood days of gardening with my parents. We lived on a rural four acre plot in North Central Texas.  As an adolescent I thought it was cruel and unusual punishment that my parents asked me to pick green beans in the warm Texas sun.  At times I was a very remiss green bean picker!   It is with embarrassment that I admit to occasionally picking the WHOLE green plant (roots and all) and tossing it over the fence into the neighboring pasture to avoid gleaning from it on my next go around.   Now, as a seasoned adult struggling with an autoimmune arthritis, I would be overjoyed to have the physical fortitude to raise my own produce. 

Thankfully though I live in an area that grows a lot of great local produce and spring is just right around the corner.   With those April showers come a cornucopia of fresh mouthwatering and satisfying fruits and veggies to look forward!  

The great thing about going vegan with fruits and vegetables at the helm of your diet is that you can keep it simple. I truly believe the secret to maintaining any healthy lifestyle is to not allow it to become cumbersome.  Once it becomes too time consuming and difficult those of us struggling with food additions tend to want to throw in the towel and revert back to our old fast food ways. 

One of the quick and easy dishes that I enjoy on a regular bases requires no recipes or measuring cups.  I call it South of the Border Potatoes (big thanks to my friend Kathy for introducing me to this dish)!  I boil yukon gold potatoes and mash while they are hot with a little soy milk.  I then toss the mashed potatoes with fresh diced green onions, corn and black beans.  Next toss in some minced cilantro and salt and pepper to taste. If you like your dish spicy you can add in some freshly diced jalapeno peppers.   

Within 30 minutes of putting the potatoes on to boil I end up with an amazingly yummy main dish which I usually eat with either grilled vegetables or fresh carrot and celery sticks on the side.  

Wishing you prosperity in your journey!

Sharon

Deceptive Eating - Staying Clean and Coming Clean

Honesty is a trait society values, however, I would venture to say that 99.9% of morbidly obese individuals are dishonest at times about their food intake and I am no different!  

Like my fellow extreme chunky monkeys I struggle with keeping it honest about my eats.   And even to this very day, despite successfully losing almost 50 pounds since December, I still want to keep my slips a secret!

 So, since I am blogging about honesty, I must admit I would greatly prefer to keep my pride intact and my poor eating choices to myself, however, I believe it is more important for my overall recovery to keep it honest.  After all we are all human and we are all going to occasionally, during a new eating plan, make some unhealthy choices. 

Recently I spent some amazing time with my family in Kansas and Missouri and throughly enjoyed it!  While I technically I stuck to my vegan and gluten-free diet I am thinking there is a good chance I might have inadvertently had wheat in the soy sauce that was used to make the Szechuan green beans with rice that I had at a Chinese Restaurant while on vacation.   

Also, with this trip came exposure to some of my old favorite food items, such as soda!  It was a warm sunny afternoon and we were at the park - everyone was off playing and enjoying the unseasonably warm March weather.    I was hanging out at the picnic table with a bottle of water and entertaining myself with a mindless game on my phone while soaking up the sunshine.   Off to my right was a 12 pack of Dr. Pepper that keep calling my name.  At first I resisted, but as the minutes ticked by "my old happy being fat self" started to whisper in my ear....."You know Sharon, Dr Pepper is vegan and it is gluten free!" and "You don't have to tell anyone....as technically you will not have broken your commitment to eat vegan/gluten free."   

I am sorry to say that I caved and ended up pouring half of a can of Dr. Pepper into a glass and downing it!  But the most surprising thing happened - it tasted sickeningly sweet and rather unpleasant.  Wow!! My taste buds had changed and I was shocked when I realized that I no longer liked the taste of soda.  Hallelujah, my body had actually learned to not enjoy the taste of sugary soda and I for one was not going to try it drinking it again in the hopes of reconditioning my taste buds to enjoy it again!  

Despite the slip, I am happy to say that I did not feel compiled to throw in the towel, as I would of in the past, and have a proper binge.  I now realize it is just not worth undoing the weight loss and the health benefits that I have achieved to date - I DO NOT WANT TO START OVER! 

The secret I am now trying is to learn is to not let the occasional unhealthy food choice define who I am going forward!

Wishing you prosperity in your journey!

Sharon

You Can Vacation Without Vacating Your Healthy Eating Plan!

Recently I enjoyed a long weekend relaxing in the the pristine snow capped Colorado Rocky Mountains.  This was my first time vacationing since starting my new healthy eating lifestyle.  


In the past whenever I went on vacation I was salivating before I even hit the open road at the endless variety of new foods I was going to try in each city I visited. However, with a determined spirit I made a concerted effort to maintain my new healthy eating lifestyle on this trip!  

Two years ago I was diagnosed with Psoriatic Arthritis (PsA), a debilitating auto-immune arthritis that affects the joints and tendons throughout the body. Everyday is a struggle to move with PsA and not even the wearing of a weekly prescription pain patch abated my pain.  However, in December when I started eating vegan and wheat free I noticed a decrease in my inflammation and pain. On this trip, I knew for the sake of my health I could no longer afford to go into vacation eating mode! 

Eating vegan and wheat free while traveling is not without its challenges.  You must plan ahead and for someone like me who is the polar opposite of a planner I had to adjust my fly by the night way of thinking.   Before leaving home I researched the best grocery stores enroute to the mountains and stopped at a Trader Joe's in Boulder to stock up on healthy provisions. Fortunately the friend I was meeting up with for the weekend mountain vacation was also eating vegan, so the two of us decided to rent a condo with a kitchen so we could prepare most of our meals in house. 

We also had the the good fortune of finding an amazing vegan restaurant in Denver.   This lovely vegan restaurant called Watercourse foods offered mouth watering vegan comfort foods with a plethora of gluten free options!  While we were in the mountains we enjoyed spicy tofu scrambled breakfast tacos in corn tortillas and homemade vegan cream of potato chowder!  We also found a yummy pizza shop that served a vegan gluten free pizza on a vegan/gluten free zucchini crust with your favorite toppings and soy cheese.  

Just because you are eating vegan and gluten free and striving to lose weight does not mean you can't enjoy your eats too!   So if you are struggling with a chronic illness, especially an auto-immune one, and have not tried vegan and/or gluten free yet I would truly encourage you to do so! I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how easy it can be to maintain and how much better you will feel in the long run!

Wishing you prosperity in your journey!

Sharon

It's Easier Than You Think to Lose Weight on a Healthy Plant Based Lifestyle.....

Starting and maintaining a healthy lifestyle has been easier than I thought it would be, despite being an extremely large chunky monkey.  I am now nine weeks into the Vegan/Gluten-free lifestyle and, as of this morning (Feb 12, 2016), I have lost 44 pounds. 
My cravings and desires to gorge, for the most part, have subsided. However, it still feels kind of surreal to think that it has been over two months since I have ingested my drugs of choice - creamy stringy fat filled cheese and sugar laden snacks!    
This past week for the first time in a long time I battled genuine hunger and it scared me. I immediately being to think...What if I am not able to get it subside?  How will I alleviate it and still keep my healthy portions in check?  To combat the hunger, I decided to not deny myself extra healthy food options that day. I steamed a package of edamame and enjoyed them with a spicy V8, the extra fiber and protein did the trick and I was left satisfied. Whew...relief set in as I realized that real plant based food was able to offer satiety! 

To help me stay focused on my journey to health I daily take time to educate myself on the effects that my massive weight is having on my body.  Everyday I watch episodes of "Supersized versus Superskinny" and "My 600lb Life" - these reality shows show the stark reality of how crippling obesity is and are the perfect motivation to help me continue my new lifestyle.   

If you are struggling with your weight and wanting to make a change, I encourage you to daily take time to see the mammoth struggles super obese individuals face, there are 1000s of shows and clips on youtube to watch.  These shows and clips help keep me away from the mentality that I am already fat...."what is one more pint of ice cream!"  Because we all know that "one bite of your favorite binge food is too much as a 1000 bites are never enough."   

Wishing you prosperity in your journey!

Sharon 

When Convenience Becomes Inconvenient!

I can remember a time in the early 90's when there was not a bathroom scale that went high enough to weigh me, most maxed out between 300 - 350 pounds, and even the doctor's office did not have scales that would register my weight.   

In my early 20s I was probably 
well over 400 pounds...but I could not tell you for sure because there were no scales around to weigh me.  What I do remember is that I could not buy pants to fit me.  I had gained the bulk of my weight in my waist, hips and thighs, so to keep myself clothed I would go to the fabric store and purchase three yards of fabric and my sister in law would sew the 108 inches of fabric into a skirt and add an elastic waist. Like thousands of overweight Americans, I had maxed out of the obese & morbid BMI categories into the SUPER obese -  A BMI of ≥ 45 or 50.

Fast forward 20 years and the world is striving to accommodate the SUPER obese!
Thanks to plus size mail order catalogs we can easily order clothes for our ever ballooning figures. The wide array of plus-size clothes range from XL to 8XL and up! Now don't get me wrong when I moved into the 6XL size category I was glad to have nice clothes to choose from, but what good are stylish clothes if my mobility was decreasing to the point that I was on short term disability and spending the vast majority of my time in my house because it was too painful to walk? 

With a plethora of greasy fast food takeouts & home delivery options, plus the calorie-laden junk food snack options available via Amazon for front door delivery....we can satisfy our unhealthy food cravings without even leaving the confines of our oversized power recliners. And while convenience is an expected way of life in the 21st Century...what we blindly ignore is that shoveling copious amounts of fatty, sweet and salty convenience snacks into our mouths will soon leave us unable to freely move and care for ourselves! 

When an individual is super obese life soon becomes a great inconvenience and not only for ourselves but for our friends and loved ones whom we start to lean to aid us in our daily tasks; such as grocery shopping, walking the dogs...etc.  It is an escapable consequence that with a BMI > 45 our weight-laden frames will wear out and give under the weight.  Our joints will no longer be able to support the mounds of fat and movement will become agonizing and arduous.   Additionally performing the simplest tasks such as showering and cooking will become exhausting! 

While some SUPER obese individuals might limp along for years, fooling themselves that they can have their cake and eat it too...it will only be a matter of time before they are stopped dead in their tracks...and most will not have years before the effects of the weight exacts its toll and the body gives out.  No matter how "lucky or healthy" we think are....we will all pay the piper and before we even know what happened we will either be house bound or living a very limited and pain filled existence.  

A couple of months ago I stepped away from convenience food and embraced a healthy vegan/gluten free lifestyle.  I actually cried the night before I started my healthy lifestyle as I ridded my kitchen of the unhealthy food items.  I was freaked out about the thought of giving up my favorite junks.  Would I fall of the diet wagon as I had done millions of times before.   Would the eating plan be impossible to maintain? However, as I got into the groove of the new lifestyle, the opposite occurred, I realized it was much easier than I anticipated!   Now when I am hungry for a snack I reach for an apple or carrots with a small side of hummus. 

I have since lost 40 pounds and I am feeling the positive effects.  And most of all, I am starting to understand that true convenience is being able to properly care myself!

Wishing you prosperity in your journey!

Sharon 

A Lot to Lose

It's been two years since I last blogged and during my absence I have fallen off and on the "dieting wagon" more than once. 

I started and stopped Weight Watchers, Fooducate, bi-weekly visits with a personal food coach and veganisn.  During my failed dieting attempts I gained and lost the same 30 pounds over and over and in the end I still sport the same weight as a very healthy female adult grizzly bear.

Recently I read a meme that said, "I would do anything to lose weight besides exercise and eat healthy."  For me, there has never been a finer truism.  

Sure, I would prefer to be slender and sexy and have optimal health, but the reality is that I have not learned yet to not equate food with love and comfort and thus I continue to battle weight.  Deep down in my soul I crave and yearn for sweets and rich highly processed fatty foods. Even though I am a vegetarian I rarely eat fruits and vegetables.  And since I do not hibernate during the winter months there is no way my body can burn all of the junk food and soda I consume.  Once again I am realizing that I am going to have to feel the temporal pain of junk food deprivation and embrace a whole food eating lifestyle for the remainder of my life....if I want to stop the damaging effects of morbid obesity and the rapid march towards an early demise.   

The funny thing is....whenever I start a healthy eating plan within days I start to freak out and have panic attacks and most of the time I run for the Swiss Roll laden hills.  I try to live in the moment and not think about the fact that I am NEVER again going to have xyz food! I know logically I will be healthier and happier eating whole foods, but, on a base level, my mind is frantically wanting to cling to the unhealthy way of life. 

Health wise my back is against the wall and the clock is ticking away. Almost everytime I visit the doctor, which is all too frequently, I discover I have a new comorbidity.  I am to the point that because of weight I am unable to have some diagnostic tests ran at the local hospital and unless I want to start getting my MRIs ran at the zoo, I better start paying attention to what my body is telling me.  While many of the comorbidities are reversible with weight loss, some of my health issues, such as compound fractures due to the excessive weight on my spine, will leave painful lasting mark.  

Thankfully in my life I am blessed with an amazing set of loving and selfless friends and family who care more for me than I care for myself.   Recently one of these friends accompanied me to an appointment with one of Houston's top bariatric surgeons.  The reason for the visit was to the discuss complications from a previous unsuccessful bariatric surgery that was preformed 12 plus years ago by another surgeon.  

During our office visit with the doctor, he emphatically said I needed a radical 2nd bariactic surgery to fix my first unsuccessful bariactic surgery.  I told him that I did not want to have another surgery, but instead wanted to start a healthy vegan eating program and to work hard to emotionally get to the root of my compulsive overeating.    He looked me straight in the face and said "it's IMPOSSIBLE at your size for you to lose your weight by healthy eating!"   And he went on to add that, "at the rate you are going you have about five years to live."  

WOW!  Never had a doctor told me I could NOT loss weight and the strangest thing happened....I left his office motivated to show him wrong.  My friend who had accompanied me to the appointment, together with her husband, graciously offered to open their home to me for a month to help me start on a real food healthy eating program.   Despite it being two weeks before Christmas I took them up on their offer and on December 7th I started.   

The company is amazing and the food has been yummy but emotionally it has been very hard...I am grieving my old comfort foods.  But I am actively working on my emotional issues and ready walk through the pain, sadness, anxiety and panic I experience while adjusting to new lifestyle...because I know it is going to open up a whole new world for me.

Next week during this journey I want to delve into and blog about all of the things in life I will be able to do at a healthy weight. 

Love and peace!

Unable to Dodge the Obesity Side Effects Bullet

In my early 20's, when a medical professional told me that at current weight gaining trend, “I would probably have about 10 years to live” - the statement did not even faze me.   For all I cared, he might as well of just casually stated that he preferred to use a Mickey Mouse Band-Aid after giving me a shot.    Years of experiencing life as an ever burgeoning fat kid and adult, who was bombarded by a world of helpful weight loss tactics, had left me with an impregnable adipose casing.  

Oh, I am sure, at the time, I faked interest, but really, who I was kidding?  I had no earthly idea (and still do not to this day have any idea) how to choose life over junk food.  Fear has never motivated me to eat healthy.  Nor has the shame of being unable to fit comfortably in a single airplane seat provided me with the incentive to change.  Even, the thought of dying from obesity, sadly enough, does not scare me into health reformation! 
 
Today, I am 44 years old.  I have outlived his dismal forecast by 10 years, but I have not dodged the inevitable obesity side effects bullet.   Decades before its time, the cartilage in my knees has been replaced by spurs.   Walking from my car to my apartment feels like a marathon.   The simple act of tying my shoes, which I mastered so easily in kindergarten, now, taxes me to the point that it is easier to just wear flip flops. 

You see, what I had not factored into the Doctor’s “death by obesity statement,” was that it will not be one of these "die peaceably in your sleep deaths."    With each passing day, my body tries to warn me and woo me into reformation with its messages of pain.  

At first it whispered, "my knees hurt," and then it politely tried to tell me "I can’t breathe when you walk a flight of stairs.” And as the weight increased and the birthdays passed, the obesity associated pain and discomfort increased to the point where my body now has to shout, just to get my numbed attention. 

Well you know what?  Pain is a powerful motivator for me.   And while I still have absolutely no clue on how to succeed at losing weight, I do know how to pray and today, I am asking God to please do for me what I cannot do – change my desires, soften my heart and cultivate in me a healthy appetite and desire to live life at its fullest for Him – Amen.