Going Weigh Back

I really can't ever remember a time in my life when I was not fat.   In fact, I have been overweight for so much of my life, that it has become my normal.     

For me, as I leaf through my early childhood pictures, I find some in which I actually look like all the other kids in my age group.  However, about the age of six or seven everything started to change and I rapidly became the “non-ideal sized child.”   

By then, we had moved to small town about 30 minutes south of Fort Worth, Texas and I was in the 2^nd grade.  In order for my mom to find school clothes to fit my ever blossoming figure; we would drive all the way the Sears Store in South Fort Worth.    Which I must say, I always found to be a treat – because after we would finish buying my non-fashionable husky jeans, we would head for the yummy snack-food counter, conveniently located in the basement of the Sears store.  

How lucky could a junk-food fend kid get – cardboard textured jeans, that sort of fit, and a bag of sweet and tangy sour cherry balls, all in one trip.  To this day I can still smell the fresh popcorn and taste the tartness of the cherry balls. 

During the 70’s, when I was a pre-teen, Sears was really about the only store in our area that carried clothing in my size.   In fact, recently I was checking out the current on-line trends for children’s plus-sized clothing and was totally dumb-struck by an asinine advertising approach that one dot-com store is using to promote its Husky wear. 

The tag-lines under the clothing read, “It’s not easy buying clothes for your child when they are not the ideal weight for their height.  Husky clothing is difficult to find at most stores, so when you do find boys' husky sets, it's a blessing.”   Somehow, I doubt promoting plus-sized kids clothing as the saving grace for the parents of a 200 pound under-height adolescent is a good thing, especially for their child’s self-esteem. 

Growing up as a fat kid, I remember all too well how it felt awkward and embarrassing to wear Husky pants and I am pretty sure I never thought – wow I am so blessed to be too short and too wide!

So why was I one of the unlucky 7% of the children in the 70s and 80s to struggle with obesity?   Did I subconsciously think it would be easier to struggle with the challenges associated with obesity than struggle to give up junk food?

I am always amazed when someone can eat just one piece of candy and not spend the rest of the day jonesing for more – whereas if were to have ten pieces of candy or even more, I would still send the rest of day dreaming of candy.  

Sadly, I have yet to reach my satiety point when it comes to sugar!  And I am quickly coming to realize that what my therapist says is true, “One bite is too many and a 1000 is never enough.”