I started high school at the tender age of 13, weighing over 200 pounds and four years later, when I walked across the stage and flipped my tassel, I was could no longer weigh on a standard bathroom scale.
I had pretty much eaten my way through high school with the zest of someone who was training for a Sumo wrestling competition. My high school mental year book is stuffed with food related memories.
If I close my eyes, I can tell you with accurate and mouthwatering detail how the food was laid out on the buffet line at my favorite all-you-can-eat pizzeria – but I would be hard pressed to describe the basic details of our school gym.
When I would go out to eat with my average-weight high school buddies, I always felt comfortable and loved by them and thus felt free to eat with abandonment!
Many times, after the meal ended and we parted ways, more times than I care to count, I would have to stop alongside the road to throw up, because I had consumed more than my body could process. It was kind of like I was born without an “over-eating kill switch!”
As I have gotten deeper into therapy, I have started to stroll through the corridors of my past. Many times I search for the “broken part of me” that is unable to silence my over-powering urge to gorge.
However, the cob-web covered safety deposit boxes strewn throughout my sugar cluttered mind only seem to contain more questions than answers....
Why I am different than the majority of my friends? How are they able to stop eating when they start to feel full?
Why do some only gain 20 – 30 pounds and then stabilize?
Do I have a weight limit set point? Will I live to see my set point? Will I have the courage to decide to eat to live and thus enjoy the life that God so richly blessed me with??
