In 2009 I started seeing a therapist who treats sugar addictions. And as we progressed through therapy one of my assignments was to keep a food log, however, this request was meet with much resistance on my part.Mentally I was like...me start a food log?? No way! That would be way too structured and very "type A" which is polar opposite to my carefree "type Z" personality! Besides...didn't the food I eat on the "down low" -- when no one was looking not count...
Well....my therapist does not give up easily and after the second food log request I decided to give it a whirl...and boy did I hate it!!!
I tried it for one day (well actually 3/4's a day) and I crashed burned! No more food logs for me!! It totally interfered with my continuous grazing patterns. Plus, it was much too shameful to actually be truthful and list all the junk food I ate.
Besides...I am already fat...so what is one more pint of ice cream...chocolate bar or one more day of chowing down on my unlimited supply of favorite junk food? And if I actually wrote down what all I was eating...then the calories would count and I would gain weight!
But somehow the actual act of keeping an honest food log for even 3/4s of a day had made a dent in my armor and after two weeks and a couple days of all out sugar gorging, I begin to realize my thinking was flawed...
It was kind of like me saying that if a rattlesnake bites me in the closet...it does not count. But we all know that if rattlesnake bites me in a closet or on a crowded street.....it does count! And after the bite - whether rattlesnake or a bite from a 1,000 Twinkies - I still have a strong chance of dying, if I do not reach out and get help.
The food I "eat in the closet" today will eventually come to light down the road on my body as serious health issues. And no amount of magical thinking on my part can prevent the health consequences that comes from my sugar/junk food addiction and the resulting morbid obesity....whether I choose to be aware of them or not!
